Im 16 and 14 weeks pregnant….i just found out im pregnant with twins earlier today. Im freaking out. my parents dont know, my family does not know and my boyfriends family does not know. We dont have any clue what to do…One baby was scary enough for us to have to even think about at our age but now 2 what are we going to do….. he has his own apartment and is working but also going to school. He wants to quite and get a better job to take care of our babies but i want him to finish school so he will have a good career. My family will probably disown me we are very religious. i dont want that but i dont have a choice. im allready showing and before soon im gunna be huge. i cant tell them, they dont even know i was still dating my boyfriend..they dont approve of him because he is 19 and im 16. Im gunna finish school but i dont know if i can face the reality that i will be having to raise two children not only one. ive been thinking about adoption but joseph does not want that he wasnt to keep the abies and i would love to but how can i manage two children and college…im so stressed..and i really dont know what to do how to tell our families how to face my high school…( i go to a religious school, where pregnancy is very much looked down on) I never ment for this to happen i never ment for god to bless me with babies at such a young age and i cant change it. i want to the right thing for them…im ranting because im so lost right now…bluntly stated i need advice………..any advice yall can give me so i can do what is best for our babies.
Make sure you read this –
You can parent – many young parents have come before you.
You will need help.
You got pregnant – now it’s time to grow up and tell the adults in your life – and see if they’re willing to help out.
Usually – parents change their tune when they realise that they’ll lose their grandchildren to complete strangers.
Adoption is a long term solution to an often short term problem.
Life doesn’t always work out how we plan – in fact it rarely does.
As an adoptee – I missed growing up with those that looked like me, talked like me, had traits and talents like me.
It’s a tough life to make children live with strangers.
You can parent – if you put your mind to it.
I wish you and your babies all the best in the worlds.
You and he will need to tell your parents the sooner that better. You can have a trusted friend or adult with you when your drop this bomb. You made a mature decision and now you need to maturely handle the consequences. Remember JesusвЂ™s mother Mary was probably no older then 16 herself when she had Christ. And Joseph was probably around 18 or 19 at the time.
You can not know that your family will disown you maybe they will maybe they wouldnвЂ™t.
You can keep your babies if thatвЂ™s what you want and it seems the father wants them so you couldnвЂ™t place them for adoption if he doesnвЂ™t want an adoption. It wouldnвЂ™t be easy one baby is a lot add on another one. There are programs that can help you. You all may just have to put off school for a few years until the twins are older. You can think of getting your GED its equivalent to a high school diploma. Many colleges now offer online courses or telecourse typical the only time a student has to go on campus is for tests or if you want to speak to the professor directly.
There is nothing that says one has to place the baby for adoption right away you can give parenting a chance and then if you both donвЂ™t feel you can handle it then you can find other arrangements for the children whether that is adoption or someone else takes custody of the children.
This situation would be overwhelming for anyone. But you need to tell your family. Especially with twins, your pregnancy will soon be obvious and keeping it a secret must be tearing you apart. They may be disappointed but hopefully they will be loving enough to comfort you during this scary time. If you need to, write your words down (since you will be nervous) and read them from the paper when addressing your parents. Remember you are their daughter and they should love you no matter what.
You have options. Adoption is one option that you can consider. Inter-family adoption, such as your parents or another family member adopting the children, is an option. You can also consider keeping the babies and it really sounds like this is the option you want. Get informed about government programs available for young mothers. There is financial support available. You can get scholarships and student loans to pay for college. Look into other schools than your current one, as it seems like that will be a hostile environment. Who knows, some might even have childcare. Make specific a plan. Include finances, living arrangements, childcare, etc. Be realistic with yourself about the impact that your decision will have on your future. Will you be compeletely overwhelmed if you decide to keep the children? Will you regret giving the children up for adoption later on? You can go to college as a mother. It is harder but possible. You can even attend part-time, evening classes if that works best with your schedule. Are there other young mothers in the area or support groups for young mothers? This could be a great resource. Ultimately it is your decision. Don’t be afraid to stand up to others who try and influence it. It is your decision, one that you will live with your entire life. Do what you feel is best for you and your children.
I’m sorry that your school environment, and it sounds like maybe your community?, is so judgmental. Remember that you have every right to keep your head held high. God bless you sweetie and good luck with whatever decision you make.
I just want to say that you absolutely can keep your babies if you want to. It will be hard work and you’ll need a great support system, but if that’s truly what’s in your heart, that’s what you should do. Please don’t come to a decision over night and don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel or what you should do. You do need to tell your parents soon though, not telling them will only make it worse.
My husband and I are hoping to adopt, but I have a problem with potential adoptive parents ":preying": on pregnant women – no matter what age. I think a mom needs time to bond with her child once he/she is BORN and then make the best decision for her and her child.
Find out all of your options – there are more options than adoption and abortion! Just remember, you’re not the only 16 year old that has ever been pregnant. Good luck to you!
My opinion is to keep your children, but try to do your best to stay in school. I think not telling anyone is going to stress you out too much and once you get the conversation out of the way it won’t be as bad. Then, you will know how your parents feel. Remember that this is your baby AND your boyfriend’s baby. Don’t let your family sway you one way or another. Also, think about what would be better for the family in the long run? Your boyfriend dropping out of school now to get a better job or going to school and getting and even better job? Yes, some people might look down on you, but that is their problem. There are teens and young adults that get pregnant and keep the children. Talk to your family, friends, church, etc. about helping to take care of them. Remember the girls in Massachusetts? They went to a religious school, but they decided to keep their babies. I think you have the strength and support from your boyfriend to do it. Now you just have to reach out to those close to you and see if they will help you. On a positive note, there was recent research that says if a mother is younger than 25 the child(ren) are likely to live longer. Don’t doubt yourself you will probably do much better than you think you can.
I know it may sound weird, but you might want to make a legal contract or something too about what would happen if your boyfriend decides to get up and leave. This would be almost like a prenuptial agreement, but more for the babies. Do not let yourself get manipulated by anyone. The majority of children who are poor are in families that are being raised by single mothers. Do not let that happen to your children.
Wow.. You have a big load to carry… literally LOL
You can keep your babies. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
There are programs out the wazoo to help young women like you financially and with child care while you finish high school and college.
Keep in mind you can take many college courses online, while you are at home with your babies. You can even get degrees this way, degrees that will give you a good paying job.
Don’t DEPEND on your man, though. MANY MANY guys say they’ll be there and aren’t.. So don’t depend on him and fall apart if he walks away. If he really does help, GREAT, it will make things ALOT easier for you.
The point is, you CAN do it. No, it won’t be easy, but you won’t have any regrets. With adoption, there very well may be serious regrets, for you and your children.
You’re just gonna have to grow up a little sooner than expected, don’t worry, many have done it before you and thrived.
I think the best thing for you and your babies is to stay together.
as for what others think of you, you’re just going to have to ignore that. We all make mistakes. Doesn’t mean we’re a bad person. Just know in your heart you’re a good person, and what anyone else thinks is irrelevant.
Hi. Congratulations! You are obviously a smart cookie by the looks of your thoughts. I think you should pray for God to lead you in a decision that will be right for you and your babies. Adoption can be a good thing but keeping them could be the best decision of your life. I was forced to grow up sooo soon at a young age like yourself. My son is 9 now and I am married with a 1 year old baby girl. I had considered adoption but decided that if I did this I had to deal with the consequences. Im glad I did. I love my baby boy and now my life is changed for the better because of him. I was on a bad road and had no one really as the father had left me. I went to college and worked and it was hard but looking into his eyes made it all worth it. You will have days you just want to fall apart but just hold your babies and you will feel a love unlike any other in the world. The love of a child is something unspeakable not to mention the love of 2. Hope it all works out for you. There is light at the end of the tunnel and no matter what decision you make know that you are blessed always!
Wow!! First, you need to sit down with both sets of parents and tell them what is going on. They will be upset but they will get over it. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter and I thought my mom was going to kill me! She didn’t and they love her very much to this day. Second, do not allow them to force you to make a decision on terminating the pregnancy or keeping them, or adoption. This is a choice that you and your partner need to make.
The bible says to love one another and if they are truly religious they will forgive you and move on. People will always gossip, they will gossip whether if you are pregnant or not. you can’t stop them and he that is without sin cast the 1st stone, we ALL have skeletons in the closet. Ignore them, you are brave and you can overcome this.
It is difficult to raise kids, they are expensive, but this is a decision that you BOTH have to make and not be a one sided decision. Think and pray about it. God bless
First off, calm down a bit. Secondly, your parents are not going to disown you. My in-laws are quite religious too and when their daughter got pregnant at 16, they were upset, but they got over it and are now the very proud grandparents of a two day old baby boy. They started getting really excited when they saw the pictures from the first ultrasound.
The responsible thing to do is to tell your parents. You are going to need their support and your boyfriend will need his parents’ support. Regardless of whether or not you keep the babies or give them up for adoption, you still need to let your parents know. I guarantee they will be upset for awhile, but I promise you most parents (religious or not) do not stay mad forever. Since you and your boyfriend are not going to be able to support two babies on your own, you will need your parents’ financial support. If they are not willing or cannot do this, then you may need to give your babies up. Grandparents have no obligation to take care of their children’s children. But take things one step at a time. It’s great that you’ve gone to a doctor already, but I cannot stress enough how important it is that you tell your parents.
Please get all your parents together and talk to them.
Do not plan for adoption. Plan for parenting. Do not get caught up in the shame game. Do not let anyone tell you what to do. The decision is you and your boyfriends and only yours.
Find out what resources you can use to help you parent your children.
If you decide to give them up, think about how you will feel when their first birthday comes around, or your first Mother’s day and Christmas. Think about how you will feel in 2 weeks, 2 years or 20 years.
Open adoptions are not enforceable and I’m not saying that all open adoptions don’t work.
My baby is 36 years old. I found her in 2001, so I went almost 30 years without knowing where she was or how she was. It was a nightmare that I finally woke up from but only after reunion.