ok so I met this girl on december 4th last year and I like fell in love with this her at first sight. we became good friends and then I gave her a note saying how I felt. well she said she liked it and we started talking. well she said she was still in love with her ex and then we kinda quit talking. well she started liking me again about a month after that. I didn’t make a move in fear the same thing would happen. she admitted liking me but said she didn’t see us having a future together. well I completely quit talking to her. she texted me two nights ago saying I’ve been on her mind a lot lately. does this mean she likes me again? I have never quit liking her. well before she texted me I started talking to another girl and she likes me. she is a very nice girl but I don’t think she is totally interested in me because every time we text she quits texting me. I don’t like her as much as the other girl. I don’t want to have to tell her that I no longer want to talk and what not. well I really like the first girl. so should I just flat out ask her by text if she wants a relationship? I want to know now but I wouldn’t be able to find out until Saturday. plus I don’t want to keep the other girl waiting that long. please tell me what I should do. I can’t keep the second girl waiting because we have been talking for two weeks already so please help. just to clear it up, the first girl no long likes her ex. should I just text the first girl and straight up ask her? detailed advice is greatly appreciated. thanks.
so the first girl you knew for a while and is know interested in you
and the second girl you text and you don’t know if she likes you at the same time you like the first girl better
i think it is clear that you should go for the first girl
first of all you knew her for a long time
you know that she could be interested in you
and you also like her better then the second girl
your answer is right in the question you just have to look deeper
anyways i would most defiantly go for the first girl because you know her for a longer time and you know that she likes you
Could be many reason why the 2nd girl quits texting, and just cause you may like to text many times a day, doesn’t mean everyone loves to get texted that many times, and with some ppl, to keep in touch all day, every day, gives some little to say or the “thrill” of hearing from and seeing, the other person. “absence makes the heart grown fonder”, that old saying is often true. If i were you, i’d ask the 2nd girl why she does it, if your going to be in any relationship you have to open up and be honest or they will always fail before long.
The more time one spends with a person lets you get to know far too much about them and often kills the mystery of it all, to know every single thing about a person, right down to the way they think and all, often kills the relationship, as it’s always been said, “something should always be left to the imagination”, ppl become bored, start to take the other for granted, crave for something new, exciting, it’s exactly why from high school relationships to yrs of marriage, one or the other of a couple start stepping out on the sly and end up divorced or in your case breaking up. All this is very common for women in general, let alone an experienced high school girl, just learn now women are the “pettiest” creatures on earth and in high school all are just learning for the first time or close to it.
What i do advise, is you avoid the first girl, she doesn’t seem to know what she wants, her moods are running hot one minute and cold the next. And why the sudden dislike for this ex of hers…is she angry because she’s heard or seen him with other girls?, because she couldn’t win him back?, or as it is very normal anger and hurt that he could get over her so fast?, this could also be a ploy to try make him jealous.
No, if i were you, i’d go with the 2nd girl, if her explanation is suitable to you, or i’d not discuss any intimacy with the 1st one, for 3 or 4 months until your sure she’s over the ex, until she doesn’t mention him in any way, even hatefully, “it’s a well known fact that love and hate are closely related emotions. Her hate is but rejection which would disappear the second he considered taking her back and if she still hold feeling for him, even hate, then there’s little love or room for love within her.
If her feeling change that fast, then they will on and with you.
I don’t think you should be with either girl..here’s why:
1st girl- She doesn’t want a relationship with you and there is no reason the ask. She has made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want that from you. First, it was her ex but even when you put that aside she then told you that she doesn’t see a future with you and that is her saying that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. Now, just because she still calls you sometimes and flirts doesn’t mean much nowadays. She may need you when she feels lonely or something. Sounds like a relationship in to which she basically uses you whenever she needs with no real commitment and no desire for it with you on her end and she is making sure that you know it by saying it in subtle ways. So no go for the first girl
2nd girl- you were right on for telling us about her second. Because that is what she basically is. She’s a second choice and you know what? I feel for her…she shouldn’t have to be the second girl to no one and if i was her and I knew I was I wouldn’t date you. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with her for her sake. And you don’t like her all that much is there is someone you would rather had been with.
Save yourself by not talking to the first girl
Save the 2nd girl by not talking to her
My mom always says be particular! aka don’t settle from this it seems as if you like the first girl a lot better that the second. So if you are strung up on the first girl don’t lead the second on, and tell the first how you feel and ask her flat out with something along the lines of: i really like you and would love to have a relationship with you do you like me at all and do you see anything happening or are you just not interested ?
Also if you think about how this will effect you in a month, 6 months, year, and 5 years it helps by arranging things in priority and seeing what you personally want and need in the long run. If you think about it like I just want a girlfriend then it wont end well. You have to think about the other person and if you like them, or like the idea of liking them.
Hope this helped(:
I can tell you really like the first girl. You’ve known her longer, & you just simply like her more, like you said. But you have to remember she has hurt you before, and if they do it once, they’ll do it again. But if you like her enough you are willing to get hurt over her, go for it. But as for the second girl, I think it’s really sweet that you are caring about her feelings. Girls are very sensitive & there could be numerous reasons why she doesn’t act like she’s very into you. Just talk to her about it. Don’t be a jerk and just quit talking to her, give her a sincere explanation and let her know that you don’t want to hurt her. She will respect you for that and yall can most likely still be friends. If you don’t work out with the first girl, maybe you can have something with the second girl in the future, considering you are kind of doing the same thing to the second girl that the first girl did to you. But in the end, the decision is completely up to you. Hope I could help!
Zack, I would go with the first girl. You said the second girl doesn’t seem too interested, don’t you want to go out with a girl that is interested? The first girl may have kept you waiting but give it another chance. The first few times around she wasn’t completely in it, but now she seems ready for YOU, not the ex. Give it a try with her, if shes been thinking about you alot, she must want you. Meet up with her or get on the phone (Don’t text it) and tell her that if she wants you two can be in a relationship, because you like her alot and she likes you alot. You’ve known that girl for about a year and have talked several times. Even though there was that akward period with no talking just get past it, don’t let get between you, forget the past and move to the future. As for the second girl just tell her you want to be friends, that’s she’s great to talk to, but you still are going to try for the first girl. If shes upset, try to comfort her, but if she gets all crazy don’t feed in and go out with her in default. Remeber some of greatest love stories had difficult times, like Romeo and Juliet, Beauty and the Beast, and Ronnie and Sami from the Jersey Shore (lol the last one was a joke)so not everthing is easy. If you really like this girl you need to prove it to her and never give up. Good luck with whoever you chose, and have a happy future. Hope this helped!
You’ve got to go with your gut instinct based on all the information you’ve got.
The first girl has already given you a pretty clear response. She said she didn’t see the two of you having a future together. You can play this out with her one more time but my guess is she’s already told you what she thinks and is communicating with you again because she is not currently involved with anyone and knows that you were interested in her in the past. Not trying to sound harsh here but I think you’re wasting your time with girl #1.
Girl #2 You don’t like her as much as you like girl #1. If you forget girl #1 by taking her out of the picture you stand a chance of knowing what you think about the second girl. She doesn’t stand a chance in your mind as long as you’re hung up on the first one.
If you’re insistent on playing things out with girl #1 tell her your intentions–that you want a relationship. If she hesitates you’ve got your answer.
If the second girl quits texting maybe it’s because she’s run out of things to say. If you’ve got even the slightest interest in her give the friendship a couple more weeks. If you don’t feel chemistry move on.
I don’t think you’ll like my answer but I personally think you should stay single for a while. I mean the december 4th girl sounds wishy washy like she can’t make up her mind what she wants so that’s never really a good sign for a relationship. And if you would leave the second girl for the first one then you’re obviously not that into her. I think neither of these two girls are really relationship material for you personally but if you wanna go for it go ahead. You really want to know what a girl is thinking? Ask her straight up because otherwise you’ll spend all your time wondering what she’s thinking when you could just ask her and know. All of the people who comment on here are really only guessing, but she actually knows what she’s thinking. Follow? Good luck 🙂
You’re clearly in a dilemma. I mean, I get that you might not feel so confident about what the first girl actually feels about you – especially because you guys stopped talking to each other twice. That really is something to think about; you should ask yourself if this time she actually means what she says or if she’s just going to end up ditching you the next time as well. Because if you choose the first girl and she changes her mind, you’re gonna be mad that you didn’t choose the second one. But I kind of understand, first one has clearly been on your mind more than the second one. The thing is that you have to make the decision based on which girl you think is more suited to you, the one you like the most, the one you see yourself better off with. It’s hard ’cause you can’t know for sure which girl is going to be better for you and it sucks that you have to choose… but I hope things work out eventually. Just follow your heart/instinct… And if you mess up, you never know – maybe you’ll end up with the other girl…. Just don’t keep them waiting ’cause you might end up losing both of them… Good luck!
You have to trust your Instinct on this and decide who really makes you feel more comfortable around them. If you like the december 4th woman (which it sounds like that relationship is more worth pursuing) than go for her. It sounds like you both get along better. Don’t give up on either girl though because it wouldn’t be fair.
Don’t come on to strong to this december 4th girl because it might give her the wrong vibes. Give her some time and space to figure out what she wants and be there for her and support her. Say that you really like her and want to get to know her more. Make plans with her just to hang out and see where that goes. If all goes well after a month or so (and you both feel more comfortable with each other) than go ahead and give it a try and ask her if she wants to give a relationship a try.
Tell the second girl the truth on how you feel but try not to hurt her feelings. Say something to her like “I really think you’re a great girl and think we could be friends. I just don’t see us being anything more than just friends. I hope you understand and are ok with this.” Hopefully she will understand and not be to hurt.
First, do not text the 1st girl. Talk to her in person. Texting tells you NOTHING about how a person really feels. She can easily lead you on thru texting, but in person, it’s harder to lie about feelings and anything for that matter. Also, the 2nd girl probably stops texting you because she has nothing else to say at the moment. It sounds like girl 1 is just pulling your chain. She just wants someone to be around, to give her attention, to do whatever she says and wants. I don’t think girl1 is a good choice. I would talk to girl 2 and see where she stands as far as the two of you go.
It doesn’t hurt to be friends either. You don’t have to stop talking to one or the other. But most of your problems are gonna be with chick #1.