ok so ive been writing a story for a while, but I am stuck between two opening sentences, I want my opening sentence to hook the reader and make them want to read more but I don’t know which to pick. Please pick and give a brief reason why you chose it.
1. I used to like the night.
2. Darkness came earlier than normal on that August day.
P.S. its a horror story that takes place in a small town in Oregon
#1 definitely. The second one sounds almost like a poem or something, but the first one kinda has the tone that a story is going to follow from it, like there’s a grand story to follow. Also, its way more simple, and books that start out simple like that are easier to get into.
I like the second one, “Darkness came earlier than normal on that August day.” Except I would change it to “that August evening,” because darkness comes in the evening, heh.
I think that is the better opening because from there, you can branch off into why it came earlier, what happened, etc. The first one just looks like the opening sentence of a speech intended to be full of bitterness, and those don’t usually work out well, because the reader will get tired of the attitude your character has, if that’s where the speech is going. Overall, the second opener just seems to lead into the plot better than the first one. Do you see what I mean? I feel like with the first one, you’d have a lot more explaining to do when you first start the story, but with the second one, you can take the time to set the scene first.
Edit: You can set the tone of the story using scenery. That technique of writing is called “pathetic fallacy.” (I learned that a few weeks ago, wrote it down, certain I’d never even use it, but I did! You can even look it up at dictionary.com.)
The first one, it makes the reader curious about why the character doesn’t like the night anymore. Makes the reader wonder “What happened?” Plus, it has a certain mysterious air that draws the reader in. Pick #1, it’s the perfect opening line for a horror story.
Number one, it lets the reader know right from the second word your going to tell us something that caused you not to anymore. Number two sounds a bit cliche.
Certainly option #1. It conveys mystery and will draw the reader in. Go with that one, you won’t be sorry!
I hope this helps!
#1 is way better because it makes you want to know the reason behind your not liking the night anymore.
That’s a tough choice. I’d probably go with the first one though, because it really sets the tone.
1 Seems more intriguing