My 3 year old daughter doesn t communicate well and gets frustrated very easily.?

My daughter just turned 3 a month ago. Her speech is, I don’t know how to say it different, but strange. She is SUPER intelligent. She knows and recognizes every number, letter, shape, color. She will also point out to me that the window is a square, or and egg is an oval etc. She still jibbers and jabbers and tries to sound like shes talking big. But the words she can say, she says well. When she wants something, she will let me know by asking me if I want to watch tv or do I want a drink. For instance when shes hungry she’ll ask Hey, do you want pizza? But when I talk her normal, which i always speak slowly, she doesn’t get it at all and she will get very upset. She is hyperactive somewhat, but her attention span is very very short. I have NEVER been able to teach her things or read her a book. She does not want me to show her how to do anything. She gets very angry when I try to show her how to do something. She gets angry when certain things don’t work properly for her and she will not have me show her. Potty training is at a halt for she simply just doesn’t reason well with it. It get so aggravating for me because I see parents and their children of the same age communicating well, playing games together, and it almost makes me have a jealous feeling of that. She has NEVER called me Mom, momma, or mommy. She calls booger. It may be comical, but she seems to call everyone in the family by what they have always called her. She also has problems with ear infections and had tubes put in a few months before she was 2. She doesn’t like for me to go any where near her ears. I’ve had her assessed for ADD at the preschool she attends. They told me that they couldn’t even finish much less start the assessment because of her attention, and very much suggested I have her tested. Its not surprising to me at all as her biological father has ADD. I feel like I should have her tested, but I know that the whole communication would make it difficult. I feel like, also, that something just isn’t right and she needs some help. I have tried all that I know to do for her to talk to me other than those simple things of wanting a drink or food. Another thing, she fidgets a lot. It will keep her from laying still in the bed and going to bed is a very difficult task. And its very hard for her to understand that she needs to stay in the bed. Even punishing her by spatting and spanking does not keep her in the bed. I have to get up at least 6-12 times before she finally is asleep. This has become very stressful and more so since she is now 3 years of age and should be developed more with speech. I’m sorry for going on and on but there’s just so much in this case that makes it hard to explain everything she and I are going through. Please, any advice I am grateful for. Oh, I’m not against having her tested at all for ADD, and I really do not intend to drug my daughter. This could just be that she will simply grow out of it…

not ADD.. autism.. classic signs

For the bedtime, stop the spankings! Make sure her room is safe, then put a doorknob safety cover on the INSIDE of her room so she can’t get out. Tuck her in, read her a story if she’ll allow it, or sing to her or something, give her hugs and kisses, if she’ll allow them, then say “good night” and LEAVE THE ROOM. You might want to put on some soft music or white noise to relax her.

Get her a complete checkup, and get her hearing tested by an audiologist. Ask your doctor for a referral for the psychological/learning disorder testing she needs. Make sure you jump through all the right hoops with your insurance company, or they might not cover it. You might ask the doctor if she can have a mild tranquilizer before her medical appointments.

Don’t worry about the potty training for a while, until all this gets settled and you can make it part of a routine for her.

Good luck!

Your child should have been evaluated by an early intervention team of therapists before age 3. Now that she is 3, it is going to be super hard to get her evaluated and have her needs met through a school program. They for the most part, don’t really know anything nor can they provide a diagnosis. So, the next step is to contact your pediatrician to discuss your concerns and ask for a referral for getting a speech and developmental evaluation. Once they are able to come up with a finding, you can usually get special services like speech and developmental therapies through a school program in your district. Then, you have to ask the therapists and the doctor where you might go for a screening and dianostic exam. Then, you need to ask for a referral for genetic testing. They can perform genetic testing to identify many things but they may not come up with a reason for it. But, if you get an evaluation done and this takes time and effort on your part, you can get a diagnosis so that she can receive special services to address these needs through your public school district. It seems you are a little behind so you’ve got to get moving because the older she gets, the harder it is to get the ball rolling with these kinds of things. there are real teams of professionals who specialize in testing kids like this – I have a child with many similar issues who was tested before age 5 even though similar issues were present. Sometimes meds can help, but don’t jump to conclusions, get some testing done for developmental and speech delays before you go after a psychiatric answer. There may be simple delays that can be addressed with therapy more effectively than meds.

If you are having concerns & you feel it is affecting your relationship you need to take her to get some testing done at a children’s center, like a children’s hospital. Places that specialize in children know what to look for, you might want to request a child behavioral psychologist VS a psychiatrist (they are more likely to recommend drugs as they are doctors that can prescribe them). I would not recommend simply asking a pediatrician because they do not specialize in DSM diagnosis; their focus is on medical care. Always get a second opinion from a separate provider if they do find anything atypical with her behavior, just for peace of mind & accuracy.

Good Luck! If there is something wrong, there are many types of alternative behavioral treatments out there that do not require medication. However, she is 3 and everyone develops at their own rate and pace. Each child is an individual with a unique personality, so she could grow out of it.

Bigotry, plain and simple. “not antisemitic or anything” but would rather die than marry one of “those people”. What an @s$. It IS antisemitic, and sending messages to your future son in law or his parents can be construed as harassment, and by using a phone you are actually committing a crime. I suggest that you grow up and leave your daughter alone. She is happy, and you should embrace the source of the happiness, not push it away. If this is not possible for you then I suggest you invent a time machine and return to late 1930’s Germany, or go to Palestine or something.

You said constant ear infections and tubes put in her ears at age 2.. her speech is not where it needs to be and she exhibits all signs of ADD.. There is also another possibility.. CAPD (Central Auditory processing disorder) Google it. I would also getting a hearing test done.

Have her tested by a good psych – it may be a combination of Autism and ADHD. Don’t be too quick to reject medication, it has made a big difference for my daughter.

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